My husband and I have been married for 17 years. Of those, I would say that we were diligent about becoming parents for 14 of those years.
Here is what I learned through those years.
- Pray for grace. There were years that I prayed consistently for the Lord to bless us with a baby. I even found scriptures about being fruitful and multiplying the earth and stood on these scriptures for years. Then, it struck me to pray for grace while we remained childless. And the grace came. I felt more at peace and less frustrated about being childless.
- You are blessed. For years, I allowed myself to feel like I wasn’t blessed because I didn’t have my “family” so to speak. The Lord helped me to realize that I was just as blessed as others who had families with children.
- Don’t grow bitter. At one point at the tail end of this journey, I grew bitter. This bitterness spilled over into all areas of my life. Finally, I ended up losing my relationship with the Lord. I couldn’t read the bible and pray. I dropped out of church. I came to a very hard place for three full years. I felt abandoned by God during those years. But God is good and faithful. It took baby steps to get out of the spiritual rut I got myself into. But the Lord brought me out of it and I did grow from it. Now I know what bitterness can do to you so I don’t ever want to go to that hard place again.
I will continue next time with another entry on infertility and tell you more about what I learned in my spiritual walk with the Lord through this infertility journey.